At times, all I need is some encouragement or someone to side with me. Instead, you shoot me down harder. I have a Vietnamese midterm tomorrow, I tell you I don't feel confident on it and I'm obviously frustrated already, I don't need you to tell me "you don't listened to me  when I'm trying to help build you a stronger foundation." Honestly, all I needed was a good luck or I believe in you kind of shit. But okay.

11 months

I say I don't care anymore (to a certain point) but you still cross lines. Our talks don't mean anything. You don't get it at all.

I can't sleep. I don't know why I've been getting headaches lately. I feel assured when I'm physically with you. You say a lot of things to assure me when I talk to you. But...I don't think this uncomfortable feeling will ever go away. At least I don't think YOU can ever make it go away. It's just how you are. I really think it's unfair for you when I feel like this but I can't help it. Really doesn't help my headaches either lol.

It's been nearly a year now and despite everything we've been through, I'm glad to have you. I know I screw up a lot and I tell myself I'll change, so I hope you can be there with me while I do. It might not be tomorrow, or next month, or even next year but I will because at the end of the day, I love seeing that beautiful smile of yours and I'll do anything to see it. I love you dear.

Now you'll have something to blackmail me with. dork..

      You're amazing. Jian asked why I'm staying up so late, "Going to wake Nhat up at 2." It's 2 oclock and I wake you up, you ignore me as usual, gives the same no response with a mumble. Then you actually have someone call you to wake you up at 2oclock and talk with him and laugh and smile? All in front of me. Truly amazing. You are unaware of the little things you do that hurt. Then you go straight back to sleep.
        Honestly, it feels like you just disregard me when you talk to other guys. It's like you still like the idea of other guys chasing you, saying you're cute. You'll never get pass that phase even when you are with me. You could have told him that you have your boyfriend to wake you up. You don't ask guys to do things for you, but you don't INSIST for them not to either. When you talk to others, the fact is, I'm not on your mind.
       I understand you're tired. And I have always put you first. I let you do your thing, but I'm sick of putting all my effort into you and getting nothing in return. This might not be a big deal, but shit just adds up. As much as I wanted to go to sleep, I'm wide awake now. Thanks.

Stumbling upon stuff I shouldn't have. Don't know if it's a good or bad thing. I feel sick.

When one of us does wrong, we usually have a good talk after that makes things okay again. But when it's me, in the back of my mind, I know it's never really okay again.

I'm not perfect, I make more mistakes than I want too. I try to make it up to you and apologize. But it's hard when you never forgive. The past always resurfaces because so.Almost like a grudge, if nothing is forgiven, it just builds up. Forgiving is hard when you don't forget, but might be easier to forget if you tried forgiving.

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you